Striving For Love
by LaBeauAJ
Summary: Kurt is madly in love with Blaine. But Blaine doesn't want Kurt, instead he is dating...
1. Chapter 1 Why Her?

Striving For Love

1

Why Her?

Oh Blaine, if only you loved me. Stop it right there I told myself, it's pretty clear that he is never going to. I just need to move on, but oh why did Blaine have to be so strikingly gorgeous? Here we are in the Lima Bean and Blaine, oh Blaine is drinking his coffee, and he seems so blissfully in peace. Blaine why won't you love me?

"Blaine have you ever wondered what it would be like to be in love with someone?" I asked trying to sound indifferent.

He looked at me with those beautiful eyes and smiled serenely, "Sure, I've wondered, but it seems like something that's hard to come by, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. I mean right now I'm in love with the most perfect person in the universe, and he doesn't even notice." I said with a frown.

"Don't worry; I'm sure he will eventually." He said with a cute smile. Oh Blaine, please it's you don't you see? I could never love anyone else the way I love you.

"I hope you're right Blaine." I said gazing into those gorgeous eyes. Then Blaine's phone rung and he looked curiously away.

"Hello Rachel." He said. "Oh, you do. I see, well, yeah I'd love to. That sound great, see you then." Then he put his phone back inside his pocket. "I have a date tonight." Blaine said. I think my heart just shattered.

"Really who is it?" I gasped. I barely managed, all I feel like doing right now is busting into tears.

"I have a date with Rachel." Blaine said happily.

It felt like someone punched a whole right through my heart, and then squished it in front me. RACHEL! Of all people, RACHEL! The one who is self centered, steals my spotlight, and everyone else's as well. Why her? Why RACHEL? Why must I always have to compete with RACHEL?

"I thought you were gay?" I asked.

"It can't hurt to experiment." He said.

"I suppose you're right, whatever makes you happy I guess." I said defeated.

"I've been feeling lonely a lot recently, and I wanted to be in a relationship, and well she seems like a great choice."

"Are you kidding me? Rachel, she isn't a good match for you. You need someone who is kind and caring, and a much better singer." I said heatedly. Blaine I need you I'm going insane!

"Kurt, Rachel isn't that bad, and she's a wonderful singer. I'm going to take her to the musical that's showing in the community theatre." He said.

"I hope you and Rachel have a good time." I said forcing a smile.

I finished my coffee, and said bye to Blaine. I went outside, to find out that there is a steady downpour, it perfectly reflects my mood. I got in my car and looked over across the sidewalk and through the window at Blaine. He's sitting there looking perfect, almost perfect, if he had the gleam in his eyes of being in love with me, now that would be perfect.

I decided to leave him an anonymous text, "Blaine I am madly in love with you, if only you would notice. You are the universe to me Blaine, if you could see me sitting here, crying over you would you notice then? I love you so much Blaine it hurts." By the time I finished I was crying like crazy. I pressed send, and watched Blaine grab his phone looking at it very curiously. Then the hugest smile spread across his face, and he started to reply.

I didn't think he was going to reply, what if he asks who sent it. My phone started to ring, I picked it up. "Aw Rachel you're so sweet. I can't wait to see you tonight. Xoxo" I tore my eyes from my phone and started to cry even harder, I felt like I would explode inside. He thought my text was from RACHEL! NO! I feel like I'm dying, how can I drive home now, how can I do anything? I feel like curling up and crying until I have nothing left.

I rubbed my eyes fiercely, willing myself to start the car. If I got home soon enough then maybe dad won't be home yet. When I got there to my relief no one was there, I rushed up to my room. I went to my bathroom and looked at my face, my eyes are bloodshot, and beyond that though there was a look of utter hopelessness in them. There was only one thing to do, shower, then put on all my face creams, and then if I still look bad, make up.

It took about an hour altogether to shower and moisturize my face. My eyes still looked red, and hopeless. I decided to use some make up; I put foundation and cover up on, then blush, finishing with a natural look. I looked in the mirror; I look more like myself now. I feel like someone pulled my heart out. I went down to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat, salad. I ate in misery my thoughts dwelling on Blaine, it seems so hopeless, and he's never going to notice or reciprocate those feelings.

"Hey Kurt I'm home!" Dad said.

"Hi dad, how was your day?" I said, putting on a smile.

"Ah it was great! I had tons of work, and I finished three cars today!" Dad said happily. "Is something getting you down Kurt?"

Of course he would notice. "I'm fine, just had a hard day at school. And I still don't have a solo in glee club." I said. Dalton is great and everything but the school work is harder, I don't mind that, but what I do mind is never getting a solo for glee club, and I really miss all my friends from McKinley. Most importantly though, it's so hard to see the guy I love when he doesn't love me, only treats me like a friend.

"They're bound to let you sing sooner or later." He said.

"Thanks, I'm sure they might eventually. I'm going to go watch Victor Victoria now." I said, and then I went back up to my room, and sat down on my bed. I am hopelessly devoted to Blaine. I decided to turn on my karaoke and I put my Grease instrumental CD in and started to sing "Hopelessly Devoted To You".

"Guess mine is not the first heart broken  
My eyes are not the first to cry  
I'm not the first to know  
There's just no getting over you

I know I'm just a fool who's willin'  
To sit around and wait for you  
But baby, can't you see  
There's nothin' else for me to do?

I'm hopelessly devoted to you  
But now there's nowhere to hide  
Since you pushed my love aside  
I'm out of my head, hopelessly devoted to you  
Hopelessly devoted to you, hopelessly devoted to you

My head is sayin', "Fool, forget him"  
My heart is sayin', "Don't let go  
Hold on to the end"  
And that's what I intend to do

I'm hopelessly devoted to you  
But now there's nowhere to hide  
Since you pushed my love aside  
I'm out of my head, hopelessly devoted to you  
Hopelessly devoted to you, hopelessly devoted to you"

After I sung I just lay down and wept. I'm so glad tomorrow is Saturday, that means no school. I don't think I could go to school right now, especially with Blaine there.

The next time I opened my eyes my clock said it was 6:48 a.m. I decided to get on my home work. After that I went to my bathroom and got a shower, and then I blow dried my hair then coifed it, and then I brushed my teeth. I then put on my moisturizers. I went down stairs for breakfast; I ate two bananas and wheat toast. I looked at the clock 8:05, and decided to call Rachel. The nerd always gets up promptly at 6:00 a.m. I dialed her number and waited. Ring, ring, ring, ring, and "Hello?" she said.

"Hello Rachel, its Kurt. How was the date?" I said.

"It was wonderful!" she squealed. "We sung along, it was amazing. We held hands the entire time, his hands are so amazing!" She said.

"I'm sure they are. So have you made any more plans?" I asked.

"Yes, next week we're going to Breadsticks." She said.

"Well Rachel I have to get off the phone now, I need to get started on my manicure." I said, and then clicked the phone off. I was dying slowly, how could it get any worse?


	2. Chapter 2 Secret Admirer

2

Secret Admirer

Last night was amazing! I didn't know dating could be so fun! Rachel and I had so much fun singing loudly with each other, Rachel seemed to enjoy holding my hand, and I thought it seemed weird. Her hand is nice and everything, there was just something left to be desired.

The weirdest thing that happened during the date was when I mentioned the text I thought she had sent me and she looked at me funny, then she said she didn't know what I was talking about. I showed her the text, her eyes widened, and she started to smile, then she had said that it wasn't from her, and that it was just anonymous, and then she said she had an idea who sent it, but she didn't tell me who, she just changed the subject.

I left my dorm room to go across the hall to Kurt's room to tell him about my date. I knocked for five minutes, there was no answer so I assumed he went to Burt's this weekend, I'll tell him Monday. I don't know why, but for some reason everything feels so easy and natural with Kurt, like I can tell him anything, and I want to, unlike with Rachel. Even though she's nice, Kurt and I share stuff that I never could with her.

I know Kurt is somewhat into me, he told me he thought we were more than friends on V-day, but I didn't think Kurt and I should date, he's my greatest friend, and I don't want to lose that, what if we were a couple and everything became awkward between us. I don't think it would become awkward; I'm just not sure how much Kurt wanted to be with me. I know it's weird that I'm dating Rachel, it doesn't even make sense, but I didn't want to be mean and turn her down.

Kurt is definitely better looking than Rachel, and he's a better singer, and he's nicer, definitely dresses better as well, I just can't picture him as my boyfriend, he just doesn't seem like my type, great friend, but not boyfriend. Just at that moment my phone rung, I looked at it, it was a text from Rachel. "Hey Blaine my hot boy friend, would you come over to my place tonight, I need help writing a song and I'm sure you could give me some ideas." I smiled a little. Then I replied, "Sure Rachel I'll come."

Rachel is so sweet, but something still felt missing, huh that's strange. I went to the cafeteria for breakfast; I grabbed three slices of French toast, and orange juice. When I was done eating I went up to my room to do homework. When it was 11:47 I decided I'd done enough for the day, and went outside to enjoy the beautiful spring day. As I was on my way over to a weeping willow to sit under it my phone rang, I looked at it, and it was a text from unknown. I opened it "Blaine, I've been crying my eyes out, especially since you thought my text was from RACHEL, I was made for you Blaine. I will never love anyone else the way I love you. Don't you see I love you so much! We spend so much time together and it's so hard for me when you don't reciprocate my feelings. You are perfect Blaine the only thing that would make you better is if you were with me, I need you Blaine before I lose my mind! From your secret admirer." Whoa, that was some text! Who can possibly be that into me?

I have to find this person; they send something straight to my soul. Forget Rachel, I didn't know anyone could have this effect on me, and I don't even know who it is. I hope they keep texting me though, because this is amazing! I decided to give a text back. "Please tell me who you are, I think I'm in love. I'm sorry I thought you were Rachel, I see now that she couldn't hold a candle to you. I didn't know I'm sorry, please; I need you too, more than I thought I would need a person. –Blaine."

I waited, and then my phone rang again, I feel much too excited than I should. It was another text. "I can't tell you who I am; if I did you might not feel the same. I'm glad you finally have feelings for me, maybe in time, you'll figure out who I am by yourself, or I'll gather enough nerve to finally tell you. I love you so much! –Your secret admirer." Wow, I can't believe I don't know who it is, and I'm still in love.

"I hope I have the great pleasure of finding you. Are you a guy or a girl?" I replied. My phone rang another text.

"I am in fact a male, I hope that doesn't change your opinion of me, I thought you were gay. Well I did until you started dating RACHEL. I love you, always have, and always will. Once again; I'm your secret admirer." I smiled. I'm glad it's a guy; I'd love to be gay again. Especially with him, he makes me feel so alive. Something seemed familiar to me the way he talked, but I just can't place it. I got another text, I looked eagerly, but then my heart sunk it was from Rachel. "You can come over at 7:30 if that's okay."

I was angry, for well I don't know why. I should be glad my girl friend wants me to come to her house, but I'm not so thrilled at the idea when I wanted to be with my secret admirer. "That sounds like a good time." I replied. I sat down in the shade of the willow and sighed. Why was he too scared to tell me who he is? Is he a lot older than me, or younger? Or does he really think he'd be turned down by me? He reminds me of someone I know, which makes sense since he said we spend a lot of time together, but I just can't figure it out. Just then I got another text from unknown (my heart fluttered).

"We're birds that may one day take our broken wings and learn to fly then we'll be free. We only have to wait for that moment to arise. As always, this is your secret admirer K.E.H." That was the most beautiful text I've ever gotten. What does K.E.H. stand for? I've got it! All I have to do is text him during lunch next week to make sure all the Dalton boys are there, then I'll know if it's someone from school or not. Then if I can't see who got the text, I'll text him constantly, in class, in the corridor, even in the restroom, I will find him.

After lunch, I practiced the songs for regional's (Raise Your Glass, and Misery), then I tidied my room a bit and did my laundry. When it was 6:00, I went down for dinner; I hung out some with the Warblers. When it was 7:02 I was heading to my car to go to Rachel's.

The car ride over was nice, I kept fantasizing about him. I got there and rung the door bell. I could hear the sound of running footsteps, and then Rachel swung the door open, a huge grin on her face, she looked drunk. "Hello Blaine. I hope you have some ideas in your cute head." She said, the way she said it confirmed that she's drunk.

"Uh, I might have a few, but I'm leaving the writing to you." I said trying to sound formal but only sounding awkward or confused. Rachel didn't notice how it sounded, she's too drunk. She led me to her basement where she had quite the set up. A stage and a couple of pink mikes, a little table with a pink lamp and notebooks and pencils on it, little pink chairs surrounded it, and there was a pink shelf behind the table, there was also a nice big pink karaoke machine, and in the corner a washer and dryer. There was so much pink it hurt my eyes, could I have picked a more girlie girl to date? I don't think so. She even had a humongous portrait of herself. I guess Kurt was definitely right about some things.

"So, what are your ideas?" She asked. She is sitting at the table, with a notebook and pencil at the ready.

"You could write about a relationship, or a heartbreak, or heartache, and that's all the ideas I have" I said. My phone told me I have another text, it was from unknown again. "Hello darling, go to the Lima Bean when you're done at RACHEL'S. I have a surprise for you. As always, I am your secret admirer.

"I'm sorry Rachel, I have to go." I said, then I bolted upstairs and out the door, and in my car. I wonder if he is going to tell me who he is, or better yet show me. When I got there it was almost empty, they close at 8:30. I saw Kurt's car, he doesn't normally come this late in the evenings, its 7:44. I got out of my car, locked it, and then I rushed inside. I looked around for the one, but no one was looking my way except Kurt, I looked around more, but then Kurt beckoned me, so I walked over, put out.

"Hello Blaine." Kurt said. He looked kind of sad, almost like he's been crying a lot.

"I'm sorry Kurt, Someone wanted me to come here, so I have to go look." I said.

"Wait! Your secret admirer told me to give you this!" He said. The way he said, secret admirer, made my heart skip a beat, which was strange.

"You know who he is?" I said, surprised.

"Of course I do, we're close, very close, closer than you know. Here it is" He handed me a huge bouquet of roses, some red, and some purple. There was also a huge box of chocolates in an eloquent red and gold heart.

"Wow it's so beautiful Kurt." I said. Kurt was looking at me longingly. I took it and smelled the roses; they smelled so divine, the best smelling flowers ever. Kurt was still looking at me with starry eyes. "It must've cost him a lot." I said.

"Oh, it did, but he doesn't mind, you're worth even more." He said seriously. What he said and how he said it sent shivers down my spine. I always got along fine with Kurt, but now he was even better somehow, and something seemed really familiar I just can't name it, it's on the tip of my tongue. "I thought you were with Rachel at her place." Kurt said.

"I was, but when I got the text I rushed out, Rachel is great and all, but I like him more than her to be honest, even though I don't know who's behind it. Are you sure you can't tell me who he is?" I asked, giving him puppy eyes.

Kurt sighed, sadly, like he was in a harder position than me. "You know Blaine I really want to, but it might change your feelings if you knew who he is, in fact I know it would, you've already turned him down once. That was a hint he wanted me to tell you." Kurt said sadly, his eyes are even starting to water.

"Kurt what's wrong, you look sad." I asked concerned for my best friend.

"You know how I said; I'm in love with the most perfect person? Well he still doesn't notice and it gets me down when I see other people in relationships, when he doesn't want me. I need him so much. Blaine I hope you find your secret admirer, before you get like me, lonely and wanting and needing him so much." Kurt said, sad and serious at the same time. He gazed into my eyes, and then looked away, shyly.

"It's okay Kurt, I'm sure he'll come around. You shouldn't be so sad," Not to mention it hurts me to see you this way.

"Thanks, are you coming here tomorrow at your regular Sunday coffee time?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course, I love their coffee. Why do you ask?" I asked.

"No reason." The way he said it sounded like he was up to something. "Look Blaine I have to go, I still haven't studied for AV English, and I have to do like seven pages on Shakespeare, so I'll catch you later." He said abruptly, and then he was gone, leaving me dumb founded and holding the best love presents I could ask for, when I don't even know who my secret admirer could be. Just then I got another text from unknown, "I hope you love the presents. I know you can't love them half as much as I love you –Yours truly K.E.H." Once again he took my breath away with his wonderful words. Who could he be?

When I got back to Dalton it was already 9:12. I decided to write in my journal about the goings on that's been happening, how secret admirer makes me feel more alive. How Rachel is annoying and I should have listened to Kurt, and how sad Kurt was. Then when I was done describing everything it was 10:21, so I decided to brush my teeth and call it a day.

My dream was very vivid, everything was bright and cheery, and then I would get a text or gifts from 'him'. Then I would see Kurt happy and smiling around me, but then I would see how he's been recently, sad and distraught, and lonely. I just kept seeing the same things over and over again. Then it was morning.

The day was passing by so fast, I'd already had a shower, fixed my hair with gel (as always, or else my hair is unspeakable) and parked at the Lima Bean at my normal coffee time. I walked in without looking at the cars, there were a lot today. I walked right up to the cashier girl, told her to make it the usual; I come here so much every worker knows my order by heart. I glanced over to my right, and here comes Rachel out of know where, and just as I'm saying, "Hello Rachel." She grabs me and kisses me. It was weird, and totally wrong, I didn't want it to be her, or any other girl that kisses me. She pulled away, and all I can say whether it is rude or not is, "Yep, I'm gay!" I asked her to hold my place in line so I could go to the restroom. I didn't tell her, but I was going to go brush my teeth.


	3. Chapter 3 Unexpected

**Here's my next chapter in Kurt's POV again. I'm not sure if I'll have any more chapters, but if I do it will be in Blaine's POV, of what happens in this chapter. So you let me know if you want another chapter from Blaine's POV. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, if I did we'd all enjoy them more, and the last episode of Glee would have been totally awesome!**

* * *

3

Unexpected

"Yep, I'm gay!" Blaine said. My heart soared, maybe it's not so hopeless after all, and I smiled, for the first time this weekend. I still don't have him, but at least he's free for me again. I've been in constant agony ever since he started dating Rachel.

I decided to text him from unknown again. "Blaine I love you so much more, now that you're back to being gay. It really shook me up when you started dating HER! What did I tell you about her? Oh yeah, she isn't a good match for you, and you need someone who is a better singer, and better looking. And she is dog annoying! I don't know what you saw in her in the first place, must've been her ambition huh? Now I'm going to be coming at you even more – K.E.H." I pressed send. Then I saw Blaine coming out of the restroom.

I saw Blaine reading the text, and then I saw him about to reply, I started to panic, my phone was on the highest setting, I muted my phone just as I got the text, so all that came out was the beginning of my 'texts' ring tone (Toxic) I looked at Blaine quickly to see if he noticed, he was looking around madly. I looked at my phone, "I'll be waiting for your attacks ." I smiled. Then my eyes popped as I caught myself smiling again.

I relaxed and enjoyed my coffee after that. It tasted so good after seeing Rachel's face, and Blaine returning gay. I sighed happily, but then I reminded myself, he's not mine yet. My happiness left as soon as I thought that, for Blaine was known to ignore me and go for others. I groaned, utterly wanting, and needing Blaine to come over to me and hold me and tell me it's alright and he feels the same way.

Then I saw Blaine turning, and finally spotting me, honestly was I that invisible to him? He looked right in my eyes, saw something, I don't know what, hopefully he can't read minds like Edward, otherwise he is totally perfect, and that would mean that he just heard my fantasies about him. But let's be realistic here, Blaine CAN'T read minds. He started to head for my table.

"Is anyone sitting here?" Blaine asked, politely.

"Not anymore, Rachel was until she saw you. She's gone now though." I told him. He sat down, and looked at his phone like he wished his 'secret admirer' would text him, I really wanted to, but that would be too obvious. I've already been sooo obvious. Really why didn't he get it yet?

"So how's it going, did you get your crush's attention yet?" he asked.

"Not completely, but I think I almost did." I looked deeply in his eyes when I said this and thinking hard, I'm your secret admirer, I love you too much Blaine, hoping he would understand. He looked confused, and then shrugged it off. Ugh! Blaine, are you even trying to figure it out? "Most of the time I send hints here and there, that are really obvious, but clearly not obvious enough for him. I don't know what to do any more. Plan A worked though, break him up with the girl he was dating. Plan B is, get him to be mine. It's proving to be very difficult though." I said frustrated and sad at the same time.

"Kurt you should cheer up, it shouldn't be the end of the world, just because you're lonely, look at me I'm single and I'm fine. If it's meant to be it will come to be, if not then, well you know, it is how it is." He said. He sounded comforting, but it only tore me up more.

"Are you telling me to just stop and give up?" I asked, trying to hide my tears with sass.

"Yes. I think you'd be better off that way, and who knows, maybe then you two would hook up." Blaine said with a smile.

"Alright Blaine if that's what you think would work, I'll just call it quits and let the pieces fall where they may." I said fast. Once I finished my coffee I bid farewell to Blaine and went to my car to go home and pack for school.

Finally after an hour and a half I was done packing. Without really noticing I started pacing. I heard "Toxic" and I turn to quickly grab my phone from my bed side table to see what the text is. It's from Blaine. "Hey, what happened to those 'attacks' you said were coming?" I sighed. Wondered whether or not I should text back, then I decided on replying.

"I'm sorry Blaine, but I've decided to give up. If you want me you'll have to get me." One last tear fell from my eye.

I put my suitcases in my car and went inside to eat some boiled eggs and salad. When I was done Carole and Finn got home. "Hey man, you're not leaving this soon are you?" Finn asked. "Burt's gonna be here soon." He added.

"Sorry Finn, I have to go now, I'm getting up early for school, and the Mondays that follow the weekends I come home are tiring." Not to mention all that's happened just this weekend. "And I need to feed Pavarotti when I get back."

"Ah, but the next time I see you will be at regional's." Finn said sadly.

"I know Finn, I'll miss you guys. Bye Finn." I turned and left the kitchen, I hugged and said bye to Carole. Then I gloomily walked outside and into my car. I listen to a mix CD of Evanescence and Avril Lavigne. That didn't help my gloominess go away, I couldn't even cry any more, all I could do is despair.

I got to the academy feeling hollow, and went to my room; I fed Pavarotti, and unpacked my things. I went to my vanity and started on my moisturizing routine. When it was 11:38 I went to bed.

In the morning I cursed myself for dreaming about him. I got a shower, blow dried and coifed up my hair with several different kinds of hair spray. Then I brushed my teeth and put on my uniform. I grabbed my things, school books and a couple notebooks, hair spray and a comb, and my cell (still muted) and put them in my bag. I left my dorm and locked up, and then I headed for the cafeteria, hoping not to run into Blaine, as it would only lead to more despair.

I entered and couldn't stop the groan that escaped me when I saw Blaine getting his food. He saw me and motioned me over; oh I see he also has another tray with him.

"Hey Kurt, I got you a tray." He said smiling. Isn't that just sweet of him? My heart started hurting even more.

"Thanks a lot." I said with false happiness.

"No problem. Come sit with me?" He asked. Ugh, sure why not hurt myself further.

"Sure." I said simply. We went to the farthest one from the entrance by a gracious window that over looked a forest. Blaine pulled out his phone and sighed sadly. He then started texting, pressed send, then he looked around, hoping he would see who got it. I'm glad my phone is set on vibrate and near the bottom of my bag, otherwise I would have some explaining to do. He looked put out when he didn't see anyone get the text.

"Kurt I may have scared off my secret admirer and I don't know what to do." He said sadly.

"Well it's like you said, 'you should cheer up, it shouldn't be the end of the world, just because you're lonely, look at me I'm single and I'm fine. If it's meant to be it will come to be, if not then, well you know, it is how it is. I think you'd be better off that way, and who knows, maybe then you two would hook up.' Maybe you should take your own advice." I said as a matter of fact.

He looked at me dumbfounded. "Kurt I'm sorry I said that. I realize now that it was harsh. Anyway, how on earth did you remember everything I said?" He asked amazed.

"Well, I tend to pay attention to what you say." I said pointedly.

"The thing is, he won't text me anymore, and that makes me realize how much I cared about him. Anyway, don't forget about the unscheduled glee club practice this afternoon." He said.

"I won't. Maybe we'll finally find the love we've been striving for, before regional's this weekend. Let's make that our goal." I said gazing directly in those beautiful hazel eyes.

"Yeah, we'll see who finds it first." He said enthusiastically. I don't care who finds it first, as long as it's me he finds it with. Oh, no what if he gets with someone else again?

After breakfast the day was uneventful, except that when I saw Blaine in the hallways he was texting madly. As soon as the classes were over I went to the common room, to study and do my homework, I had so much to do and little time to complete it. Yes, I really hate Monday. After about twenty five minutes of working, the doors burst open with Blaine in the lead, papers flying everywhere and landing on my work. He burst into song (Misery). Ugh! It's frustrating enough just to look at him, now he's singing THIS song! I brushed the papers off. And looked over at the nerve of Blaine, singing almost directly at me! He brought me up to sing with him. I just sung back ground and lip sung; hearing him singing about misery was torture! Finally, he's done!

He comes over to me. "How did you manage to find a barb risqué canary cage cover?"

"Canaries don't like cold weather, especially Pavarotti." I said trying for the life of me to figure out why he was talking about the bird's cover.

"So what'd you think of the song?" He asked.

"Can I be really honest with you, because it comes from a place of caring?" He nodded so I continued. "Been there done that. Look, you're amazing Blaine your solo's are breathtaking, they're also numerous." I said disgruntled.

"Kurt the council decides who gets the solos. Do I detect a little jealousy?" He asked.

"No you detect a lot of jealousy." I teased. "Look Blaine sometimes I don't feel like we're the Warblers, sometimes I feel like we're Blaine and the pips." I said. Then I walked away to go to my dorm to finish my work. I was so frustrated, mostly at Blaine that I could hardly focus on my work.

When I finished I did some vocal runs. I went over to my vanity and started buffing my nails. I was whistling happily with Pavarotti, and then I heard a **clump,** I looked over at him where he lay motionless on the bottom of his cage. With everything that has been going on lately I always had Pavarotti to cheer me up, this sent me over the edge and I just started wailing uncontrollably.

Then I barely heard "Toxic" over my tears. I reached in my bag and looked at the text. It's from Blaine. "Kurt, emergency glee club meeting starts in ten minutes." At first I didn't want to be seen with tears in my eyes, and then I didn't care. I changed from my uniform, to the blackest outfit I have, grabbed one of my instrumental tapes to the song I wanted to sing for glee. I don't even care right now that members like me aren't supposed to sing any song they choose, I'm going to sing whether they allow me or not.

I walked sulking into the room. My ears feel muffled, and I have tears in my eyes. I can't believe I even came. I vaguely hear Blaine ask, "Kurt, what's wrong?" full of confusion and sympathy.

"It's Pavarotti. Pavarotti's dead." I said morbidly. "I suspect a stroke." I said the tears welling up.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" Blaine said sympathetically.

"I know it's really stupid to be upset about a bird, but he, he inspired me, with his optimism and his love of song. He was my friend. Now I know today we need to practice doo-wopping behind Blaine while he sings every solo in the medley of Pink songs. But I'd like to sing a song for Pavarotti today."

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night  
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see  
all your life  
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly  
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly  
Into the light of the dark black night.

You were only waiting for this moment to arise,

You were only waiting for this moment to arise."

"Thank you."

The next day seemed distant to me. I took my books to my room and headed off for our 'scheduled' glee club. I started falling asleep, because they were going on and on about Blaine. But then Blaine said something that stuck out to me, "No I'm tired of the Warblers being all about me" The shock nearly stunned me. "David, please make sure everything I'm about to say goes down in the official minutes. We are going to lose at regionals."

There was an up roar of "What?" Blaine raised his voice slightly, "I am incredibly grateful for the belief you've all given me as a junior member," his voice returning to normal, "to lead you all in these wonderful songs this year. But from what Kurt has told me about New Directions, I just know I can't beat them on my own; which is why I propose that we rearrange our 11:00 number, and turn it into a duet; to showcase other talent in this group!" The others started to get loud again. "Point of order. Now, we all lost one of our own this week. Pavarotti's voice was silenced by death, and I don't wanna silence anyone else's voices in this group. I think Pavarotti would roll over in his tiny, tiny little grave."

"The placement of which has yet to be determined" I interrupted.

"All right. A vote." Wes said. "Who's in favor of Warbler Blaine's proposal for a dual lead at regional's?" Then everyone started putting their hands' up. I want to get a head start.

"Oh, can I put my name on that audition list?" I'm so eager to finally get a song, and this was unexpected from Blaine.

"No. No auditions." Blaine said taking even more charge. "I wanna sing a duet with Kurt." He said sweetly, and looking over at me. What! What did he just say; I think I am going into shock now.

"That's ridiculous. There are so many great voices. Everyone deserves a shot at that honor." I said. I kicked myself though because I am being given a song that I will get to sing with Blaine, and I don't want to give any singing opportunity away.

"All in favor of Kurt being my duet partner at regionals?" Blaine asked simply.

Everyone but me rose their hands' "Decided." Wes said.

"Congratulations, Kurt." Thad said.

I can't believe I get to sing a duet with Blaine! Wow! I stayed in a daze, until I was in the common room with a bunch of stuff that I'm going to make Pavarotti's casket with. I began with a simple little lock box, gluing little jewels around the edges.

"What's that?" Blaine asked. Huh, when did he come in?

"I'm decorating Pavarotti's casket." I said with a sigh.

"Well, finish up. I have the perfect song for our number, and we should practice."

I looked up at him dreamily (I couldn't help it; I get to sing a song with him in front of an audience.) "Do tell." I said.

"Candles' by Hey Monday." He said. Something in his eyes changed from earlier today. It wasn't the color or pupil, it was more of a glow, something shining in them that has never been seen before.

"I'm impressed you're usually so 'top 40'." I said; still getting lost in those completely perfect eyes.

"Well, I just wanted something a little more emotional." He said. Then he sat down beside me. Okay now I was so shocked and confused! Did he just say he wanted to sing an 'emotional' song with me? His eyes are still shining brightly.

"Why did you pick me to sing a song with?" I asked carefully.

"Kurt, there is a moment; when you say to yourself, 'Oh there you are.' I've been looking for you forever." He said, and then he put his hand on mine. "Watching you do 'Blackbird' this week, that was a moment for me; about you. Y-You move me, Kurt." Is he really saying this! "And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you." Then the most unexpected thing happens, he starts to move closer and closer, until locking onto my lips. He grabbed the back of my head, and pulled me closer; I reached my hand up and held his face. Heat is flooding my body. The kiss ended much too soon for my liking, I just let my hand fall to the table.

I felt like I had been electrically charged, and I just stared at Blaine, because WHOA! I've imagined kissing him before, but it was never like that!

"Uh, we should- we should practice." He said.

"I thought we were." I said ecstatic. Blaine is finally into me. I looked at him longingly, and he lunged at me picking up right where we left off. When we finally stopped I still wanted more. I stared at him, asking for more. He just smiled, and then pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"I finally figured out who my secret admirer was, when you sung 'Blackbird' some of the lyrics from the song stuck out to me, I realized why, you had texted me some of the song, look." He said. Then he handed me his phone, I don't need to see it I remember all too clearly the text. I can't resist Blaine's cuteness though so I looked at the text. "We're birds that may one day take our broken wings and learn to fly then we'll be free. We only have to wait for that moment to arise. As always, this is your secret admirer K.E.H."

I looked back up at him. I'm so happy he finally figured it out! "I'm so, so sorry I didn't know it was you. You were always dropping hints, sending those beautifully written texts, and those wonderful flowers and chocolates. You were sad that you couldn't convince me, and I finally know. It's you, my perfect person that I've been looking for. I'm never letting you away from me. I love you Kurt." He said. All I can do is stare at the perfect love in front of me. A tear of triumph rolled from my eye. I was smiling jubilantly.

"Of course you already know; I love you too." I said. Then we went on to kissing each other, both of us holding on tight, never letting go.


End file.
